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My $1781 Skincare Routine

My $1781 Skincare Routine

Spoiler alert: I like fancy things.  Fancy bags, fancy watches, fancy cars - even fancy toothpaste (the only fancy thing I don't like is chocolate - who wants some weird chili-infused hibiscus chocolate when you can have Hershey's?).

So when Cos Bar reached out to me and asked if I wanted to pick out some products to try, my head exploded and I died.  But not before I picked out $1700 OF SKINCARE.  

I have oily, acne prone skin.  Yes, it has sucked for the last 36 years but I am confident I will have the last laugh when I am old and dewy and everyone else is crepey and dry (at least that's what I tell myself to make myself feel better).

I put together the most luxe, expensive, Into the Gloss-worthy routine and decided to try it for a month.  Did I mention it was $1700?  Normally, switching (almost) everything I use all at once would induce paralyzing anxiety, but I soldiered forth in the name of science.

Before (L) and After (R)

Here is everything I've been using and what I think about it:


  • Cleanser (AM) - $95: In the shower I'll use 5 pumps (hey, it was free and I have a big face) of the Sisley Tropical Resins Gentle Cleansing Gel. I love the smell of this, but I wish it was foamier.  It does clean my face, though, which I suppose is the point.
  • Cleanser (AM) - $85: THIS La Prairie cleanser is an amazing cleanser.  Foamy, smells good, leaves your face squeaky clean but not dry or tight. If I had to pick this or the Sisley for a desert island, I would pick not being on a desert island.
  • Shampoo - $42: - Most days I use the Oribe Signature Shampoo.  It smells good, and looks chic in the shower.  I am not that picky about shampoo.
  • Conditioner - $42: - I follow the Oribe shampoo with the Oribe Signature Conditioner. This too smells great, and doesn't leave my hair greasy.  Nothing's worse than conditioner that doesn't feel like it really washes out.  I mean, of course there are worse things, but you know.
  • Toner - $101:  After I shave I tone with Biologique Recherche Lotion P50 1970.  Yes it smells bad, yes it's expensive, yes your skin will look amazing.  I also use $24 Cle de Peau cotton pads to apply the P50.  What can I say? I work hard.
  • Essence - $42:  Next up is Caudalie Brightening Essence.  I don't know what this does, but I know I like it.
  • Serum - $530:  Ok, I know. $530.  My first car was literally cheaper than the La Prairie White Caviar Illuminating Serum. But my first car also was maroon on the inside and the outside.  This smells fantastic, applies smoothly, didn't break me out and I think actually does illuminate the skin.  I will say it only lasted me like 3 weeks with AM & PM application, and I don't think I was slathering it on.
  • Eye Serum - $125:  The Cle de Peau Concentrated Brightening Eye Serum was a late addition to my routine, so I can't speak about its efficacy just yet [edit: except in my before and after photos above I think my under eye actually do look brighter].  My eyes are a big area of concern for me, so I'll try almost anything (almost) that promises to make a difference in my dark circles and fine lines (puffiness, thankfully, seems relegated to my stomach and not my under eyes).
  • Moisturizer - $360:  Ok, this is another super expensive La Prairie product.  But it also comes with a night cream (they're packaged together in a super convenient tube) so you're actually saving money, here.  Did I mention I was tutored in math in high school?
  • Eye Cream - $68:  This is probably the only time in my life I'll think a Chanel product is cheap.  This is a basic eye cream.  I've learned I like a cream better than a gel.
  • Deodorant - $18:  If you're not using Megababe's new Rosy Pits deodorant, I don't want to talk to you.  The only thing that has worked for me for years has been Old Spice 24 Hours High Endurance deodorant - until this.  This is super gentle on my delicate pits and super tough on my stank.
  • Hair Creme - $42:  The Oribe Creme for Style smells great, but leaves my hair crunchy.  Once this tube finishes up I'm going to go back to my all-time favorite, the Bumble and Bumble Grooming Creme.


  • Cleanser - $38:  I almost let the fact that this Erno Laszlo Sea Mud Deep Cleansing Bar is a bar deter me from trying it.  IT HAS LITERALLY CHANGED MY SKIN.  This is the ONLY thing that keeps my acne at bay.  Seriously.  If I am without this for a few days I will grow a goatee of pimples (picture that, you're welcome!).  I will never be without this.  Never.
  • Toner: It's the P50 again.
  • Serum: The La Prairie that's more expensive than a Kia again.
  • Eye Serum: Same as above.
  • Moisturizer: Same as above (except the "PM" side of the tube).
  • Other Moisturizer - $182: If I'm feeling dry, or if it was a super cold day, I use the Guerlain Abeille Royale Night Cream.  This is a nice moisturizer that walks the line perfectly between  "light" and "heavy."
This is what your entire paycheck looks like.

This is what your entire paycheck looks like.

SO in the end, what happened? I did not break out (!!!) and I think my skin was smoother, glowier, brighter and more refined.  My pores seemed smaller.  I was still oily, but I will always be oily.  I actually got compliments on my skin - a first for me.  

Was it worth it? Of course not!  But objectively speaking, few things in life are worth the cost.  I will say that every morning and every night I felt like a PRINCE (or at least a Kardashian) and isn't that truly priceless?

Thank you Cos Bar for letting me feel rrrrrrich.  What's your go-to skincare product?

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