The Bitch is Back
Squarespace recently emailed me to let me know my site was up for renewal. Considering my last post was in January (10 months ago!) and the post before that was in March 2023, I considered letting it lapse. But instead I think I’m going to pivot the content (or at least broaden the scope of it). How many times can someone write about the best concealer or the affordable pajamas I’ve now bought twice?
I won’t go so far as to say I’ll be talking about IDEAS instead of stuff - I mean, I don’t think I’ve had an idea in 20 years. But buckle your seatbelts, because I’m going to start using this as more of a journal.
This morning I wrote in my actual journal one word: waiting. I’m waiting for so much:
For my compounded semaglutide to ship. To start making health improvements, for a some sort of miracle cure that will make me forget food and my body - things that have been the focus of my every day existence since I can remember.
For the other shoe to drop, for the bad thing to happen that I know is just a matter of time. (Welcome to my anxiety)
For something to happen. Anything. The thing that will make me feel.
To feel what I’ve told myself others feel. To feel smart. To feel in control. To feel capable. To be in control.
So that’s what I’ve got on my mind. It sounds like a bummer, but it’s the truth. And guess what? I already feel a little better now that I’ve shared it.
